On the Prowl

well, there’s a first time for everything and I was just inspired to contribute, so here goes…

So, the fly on my wall sees me in my typical Saturday morning attire, position and disposition. comfy clothes, coffee in hand, checking email, everything status quo. Nothing outwardly alluding to the “field and stream” ish thoughts that haunt my head and heart. Camouflaged in my worn jeans, unbrushed hair and in need of a shower (or at least some deodorant) I hunker down behind my laptop and quietly await my prey.

My sight is on and my focus is keen. Page 1, 10 per page, scroll, scroll, stop, pull laptop closer to my eyes, click, look at one of 7 more photos and utter “God, no!” Back to search, scroll, scroll, click, peruse photos, re-check stats, map quest, snort under my breath. You get the idea. Maybe save one or two profiles to my favorites, contemplate. Sometimes, when I’m feeling energetic, I’ll click on another site, expand my hunting grounds a bit. Or maybe I’ll refine my search. Admittedly, some days are better than others. Sometimes I even jot some notes on the back of a pizza coupon to reference later. The hunt for the the ideal, ever ellusive, oh-so-cute, affordable and dependable first time home is not a sport for the casual weekend warrior and I’m getting pretty good at it I must say!

This morning, upon opening my laptop and taking aim, I find myself (quite by accident, mind you) on a personals site. I’m struck by the overwhelming sense of deja-vu that creeps into my brain and fingers. Scroll, scroll, pull laptop closer, click, mutter some snarky remark upon seeing the second photo, back to previous, new search, expand search. DEAR GOD, I am hunting for a date almost exactly the way I am hunting for homes. The same thoughts even entertain me…

How much work would I have to put into this one? Would this make me happy for years or would I be looking to trade up soon? What sort of shape is the roof in? The plumbing? Why is the previous owner getting rid of it? And for so cheap?

The fly on the wall is making a peculiar sound now. He sees my look of disappointed, hears me slam down my laptop in disgust. I think he’s laughing at me! Or saying, “don’t worry, it’ll happen when you least expect it. You just need to stop looking!”

— So Fly