The Temple

I saw the Temple many times. I saw it in on my first night, when everything utterly amazed me. I saw it in the middle of the day, when I had nothing better to do. I saw it at sunrise, when I set my alarm to wake up in the middle of the desert with no other reason to get up.

Each time, I appreciated it for its aesthetics. The detailing it had was intricate. It’s presence was majestic. But it’s impact on me was really minimal at first. Off in the horizon it stood; it became a destination only when imaginations ran low. It was one of these moments that brought us back out to the Temple one night. The much talked about Monkeys were out of commission so back to the Temple we went. While indecision led us to it, this was the first time I got off my bike and walked into the Temple. I hadn’t listened to any of the podcasts. I hadn’t searched out any history or significance of anything I would see this week. My unpreparedness set me up for a surprise when I walked in and saw the writings on the wall. Then I saw the pictures, the prayers, the wishes. Tears just fell out of my eyes when I saw a picture of a family of four next to a goodbye message. My heart dropped and my hands could go nowhere but up to cover my gaping mouth when I saw more and more of these types of things. All around me were the echoes of peoples’ fears, resentments, sins and sources of sadness.

Shortly before we walked into the Temple, we were having a discussion about what Burning Man was all about and how it was different from or the same as our expectations. There were some of us who were disappointed and some of us who were happily surprised. There was a viewpoint that all Burning Man embodied was a raving party scene. I had disagreed with that sentiment then and was even more convinced after this visit to the Temple. Saying that Burning Man is “just this” or “just that” is like saying people are one-dimensional. While it’s easy to generalize (and I admit, I do it all the time) I know very few people who are actually so simple. Yes, we each have characteristics that, on average, are more prevalent than others, but we are each many things…many contradicting things.

I am kind; I am vengeful.

I am patient; I am selfish.

I am a prude; I am exploratory.

I am perfect; I am human.

So to say Burning Man is just a big party filled with hippies just immersed in sex and drugs is just nonsensical. Because I would bet that the girl we saw handcuffed to the side of the tent dry humping that random guy was the same girl who drew a butterfly next to her love story about her daughter. And I bet that guy who was passed out in the porta-potty was here earlier saying a prayer for his sick father. I’ve been that guy. You’ve been that girl.

The common saying I heard over and over again was, “Burning Man is what you make of it.” I understood the concept but didn’t fully grasp it until days into the week. Like I keep saying, there were so many things to do and see and experience. You could pretty much find whatever you were looking for. Yes, you could have found lots of sex. Yes, you could have found lots of drugs. Yes, you could have stayed up every night dancing in loud clubs with hundreds of drunk-ass Burners. But on the same day and on the same block, you could have also been stopped by a camp-side road block and mingled with a Bicycle DJ and rapping hari krishnas. You could have also found yourself half conscious due to heat exhaustion but engaged in a conversation about politics and world travel. You could have run into a person who did the same 6-week, Taiwan study-tour you did 14 years ago who is best friends with people you email regularly. You could have connected with the person who will next year move to your city to be with you.

I believe there is something for everyone. It’s unlikely for that to be the same thing for two people and it’s even unlikely for that to be the same thing for one person on the different days of the week. Burning Man doesn’t have to be a place where “you are not yourself” or an excuse to act like you never would but rather a place where you can be every part of yourself.

I may never go back to Burning Man or I may go back every year from now on. Regardless, I won’t ever remember it as one thing or expect any one thing from it which I really think is the best part about it.