How opposite is too opposite?
How opposite is too opposite?
A long dry spell was making me, at least according to my friends, a bit snippy. Even I had to acknowledge that I just needed to get laid! How could I justify this with my desire to be in a relationship, did I need to rethink what I was looking for? After all, I’d recently laid open my heart to the person who still holds it and as much as he feels our connection, in his mind we are too much alike to work as a committed relationship. Faced with this knowledge, I started to think, maybe I need to look for someone much more different than me. I’ve tried the quieter, more subdued personality and that doesn’t work for me…if I feel I’m in too much control, the relationship is doomed. So what then should I look for? That question was soon answered for me in the form of a kazoo playing Santa.
Kazoo boy was definitely outgoing, good vocabulary and thanks to the encouragement of my friends, I quickly found out what a great kisser he is. We exchanged numbers (or I should say, he gave me his number due to his battery being dead, maybe that should have been a sign.) Being the good Southern girl, I was hesitant to call or text him, after all isn’t the boy supposed to make the first move? Then there was the open discussion as to how old this kazoo wielding Santa really was…the guesses were anywhere from 24 to 32, well below my usual comfort zone. I finally got up the cajones, thanks to a couple of glasses of wine, to text a witty initiation. I think it was something along the lines of “Hey Santa, want to get together this week? The little green elf.” There was no immediate response, oh no…what had I done?
Finally a few hours later I get an “absolutely” back and I have to say I got a little giddy. After a few texts exchanged through the week, we finally set up a time to meet on Sunday afternoon to play some pool. I’m excited, until I wake up Sunday to an unusual sight…a snowy front deck. Arrrggghhhh….”Is this another sign?” I thought to myself. But the horniness overrode my safety concerns and after all aren’t Saabs built in Sweden. Surely my dear little convertible should be able to handle the minimal amount of snow and ice that was on the road. And I really wanted another kiss from this guy!
Two hours of white knuckle driving and I finally make it to the bar where my adorable kazoo boy is already pretty wasted. Hmmmm…I think to myself, but I continue on with the “date” and start the drinking myself, I deserved it after that drive. We actually had great flirty conversation, finding out about each other…he is 30 by the way and I think was shocked to find out I am 40, although he tried to play it off like it was no big deal. Then I find out that he’s only been divorced for six months, works part-time as a bartender and rents a room in a house with two other people. Well, at this point, even with the vodka clouding my mind, I’ve pretty much determined this boy is just too much of a slacker for me, although I do envy his lack of responsibilities and freedom.
So instead of embarking on a new relationship, I stepped out of my comfort zone and enjoyed a little fling. It only lasted for a few snowy, icy nights, but it was fun and I proved to myself that I’m not too conservative, too old or too scared to try something different and new and very, very opposite.
— Troller
