THE ONE

Two people were casually commenting on how they hadn’t found THE ONE yet. While casual, there was a tone of anxiety that plagued the conversation. That tone made the words hang in the air before me, enough so that I could pull myself to the sidelines of that conversation and reflect before I made a stance about what I thought. What did I think? What’s the term THE ONE suppose to mean and who does THE ONE suppose to refer to. Well, I’ve heard it enough and have honestly used the phrase myself in the past to know they meant THE ONE is THE ONE person who is the soul mate, THE ONE who completes us, THE ONE who we are meant to spend the rest of our life with and THE ONE who is the love of our life. As I sat there letting those definitions stream across my mind, I knew those ideas weren’t ones that were right for me.

How can there be just ONE? I’ve already known many and they have each affected me in a profound way. There was THE ONE who was the first. There was THE ONE who looked like a Filipino Orlando Bloom who I must have loved in a previous lifetime or will in a future one. There was THE ONE who could’ve been my first husband and father of our 2-1/2 children. There’s THE ONE who loved me for exactly who I am and helped me accept that. He is also THE ONE who continues to believe in my potential, is my biggest fan and is my most supportive muse. He’s THE ONE who helps me see beyond the horizon. Then there’s THE ONE who showed me that I could love someone again with as much purity, honesty and completeness as I loved my first; something I never believed I could do again. And there’s THE ONE who I never dated but who has a piece of my soul, and to this day is the only one I trust with it.

While this is not a list of all the men who have crossed my path who I at one time cared for; they are all THE ONEs of my life, thus far, in one regard or another. They are all THE ONEs who were meant to engage my soul. They are all THE ONEs who help complete who I am today. They are all THE ONEs who will be with me for the rest of my life and they are all THE ONEs who are loves of my life.

Is it a cop out to choose so many to fit the definition of THE ONE? I think it’s unfair to do anything but. I’d like to add this to the conversation the next time it comes up, so instead of worrying about THE ONE we don’t have, we can just look forward to THE NEXT ONE who will add to what we do have.

— Ballyhoo Backcaster