I’ve been thinking about the past a lot lately. Perhaps that’s why I’m having such a hard time transitioning and moving into this new year. I sit here not having a clue about what 2009 brings, not having a clue what I want from it and not having a clue how I’m going to get it. I can’t see past my nose right now. I’ve soap boxed about adding value to this world and yet I’ve busied myself with frivolity. Is it fair to want more from it all, even when I don’t know what that more is? It does make it more difficult to be driven when I don’t…

How opposite is too opposite? A long dry spell was making me, at least according to my friends, a bit snippy. Even I had to acknowledge that I just needed to get laid! How could I justify this with my desire to be in a relationship, did I need to rethink what I was looking for? After all, I’d recently laid open my heart to the person who still holds it and as much as he feels our connection, in his mind we are too much alike to work as a committed relationship. Faced with this knowledge, I started to think, maybe I need to look for someone much more…

Should I be concerned that the last guy I picked up and took home is a convicted felon? Of course at the time, I didn’t know. My adventurous ways might not have been so adventurous had I heard his story from the get go. Although I can’t be too sure of that either as the boy was smokin’ hot. And I mean smokin’. His arms were so sculpted, I couldn’t help myself from falling into them. And it’s been a while since I’ve been kissed like that so my ability to slowly graduate to each level of increased intimacy is a bit rusty…just a bit. But now that I know…

I had a dream about you the other night. In it, we found each other again. At first, I was hesitant, I was uncertain. I was holding my breath. But then it was as it was. When we made each other happy. We both felt it. We both wanted it. All I had to do was get to you. I knew where you were going to be. You wanted me to meet you. In a house not too far away but too far to get to easily. I’d seen it before, empty, before you could get there. Still, it was warm inside. It was beautiful. It was safe. It was…

I have a new perspective on angels these days. While I never seriously believed they were golden-lighted and winged (since I was 10 anyway), I did believe they were perfect beings who had risen through the ranks of heaven filled with purity, selflessness and goodness and were tasked to guide the lost. I mean, that is what it means to be “angelic” right? Well, that all changed after I recognized the angels who came into my life last year. They were anything but pure, selfless and good (seriously, anything but and nothing near perfect) but I do believe they walked with me when I needed a guide…a companion…a distraction. You…